HypoHypergraphia

Wed, 28 Jan 2009 23:15:21 GMT

Much has transpired since last I LJ'd. Eventually I'll record my memoirs of the most difficult period of my life, but for now I will proceed more modestly. Here is the list of things I managed to accomplish today:

1. Spoke with my third sister, Suzzanne, for an hour. I clarified some misunderstandings that had occurred between us and gave her support for the progress she has made in her pursuit of a counseling degree.

2. Advocated very well for myself with my medical insurance carrier. Based on the argument I made, I expect to save several hundred dollars on a hospital bill.

3. Made "Valentine's" reservation for dinner with my wife at Berkeley's famous Chez Panisse. February 17 at 6:00 PM was the first available slot, such is the restaurant's popularity.

4. Now I'm off to my biweekly tutoring session in the City.

More to come...

Give Hawaii Back to the Hawaiians

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 19:45:28 GMT

Amazing news: The Hawaiian queen and court have occupied the royal palace and are re-claiming sovereignty. And the State Dept. and Congress are actually trying to compromise with them. Many of us Americans don't realize that Hawaii was stolen from the natives by owners of sugar and fruit plantations with the help of American troops. What have we got to lose by letting them govern themselves? If you're worried about a drop to 49 states, remember that Puerto Rico has been clamoring for statehood for decades...

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080619/ap_on_re_us/palace_takeover

If I wrote the script for the world play

Sun, 01 Jun 2008 03:02:19 GMT

The following would be the case:

1. African-Native-American openly lesbian President of the United States
2. The 50 states and various territories would be organized into numerous tiny bioregional cooperative collectives.
3. Our police force and military would be composed of genetically-engineered "Huggy Bears" that are free of violent urges and only operate in defense mode. They would embrace felons in an inescapable but non-lethal bear hug. They would carry shields rather than weapons, a la Captain America.
4. Violent criminals who managed to elude the Huggy Bears would be dealt with by Tar Babies that get mushy when you hit or shoot them. Think Uncle Remus. The more one fights, the more one is trapped.
5. "Personal assault vehicles", a.k.a. private cars, would be illegal. Only public transit and foot-driven vehicles allowed in my Utopia!
6. Every city would have substantial, regularly tended gardens and "wild places" set aside for the chthonic, verdant powers around and underneath us.
7. Both energy and information would be free, but everyone has to work for the common good. Entertainment must be homemade from scratch.
8. Mandatory five hour lunch-siestas every day.
9. Computer programming would merge with Aikido: AikIT
10. No more pampered children and sullen teenagers! Everybody who wants to eat has to work!!!
11. There would be "silence shoppes" where people could literally buy a bit of peace and quiet.
12. Alternative sexuality would be encouraged by the government to improve public morale and lower the population. Non-breeders would receive tax breaks and promotions, rather than the current rewards for pumping out babies.
13. Those who do not wish to belong to my world will be permitted to retreat into virtual reality or go to outer space and create their own ideal way of life. The former will have to sign over all their assets to pay for a lifetime of state welfare and electronic sustenance.

Sun, 01 Jun 2008 02:47:40 GMT

I escaped from Starbase Mesila333!

I killed Veleda the shapeshifter, Nephandijukebox the Dalek, 1351 the maintenance droid, Benwaymd the maintenance droid, Whistlestop the space pirate, Modern Romance the medibot, Samati the awful green thing, Ain Soph Dei the engineer, Connexion the plasma cloud, Blah Blah Blah the security officer, Entropicjames the maintenance droid, Zebo4333 the red-shirted ensign, Ambassador Hurricanecarol, Amitoria the medibot, Ambassador Ladyjaye75, Subrban Suicide the nutrivend drinks machine and Fritzfreleng the awful green thing.

I salvaged a JOHN-BRUNNER-30 plasma rifle, a means-as-endslithium crystal, a LUXTON forcefield generator, a Qp4ian raygun, a dreamlogiclithium crystal, an VAUGHN-BODE-110 phaser, an Infinitum screwdriver, a LUPABI forcefield generator, a HARLEY forcefield generator, a Kaliflower model hazmat suit, a Fifel screwdriver, an 333-10 phaser, Ur3shii's commbadge, a Noisecorecords screwdriver, a THE-AC forcefield generator, an Episkoposian raygun and 440 galacticredits.

Score: 850

Explore Starbase Mesila333 and try to beat this score,
or enter your username to generate and explore your own space adventure...

"Real people are the best entertainment": Diabetes Clinic or Indie Film?

Tue, 27 May 2008 05:07:34 GMT

Last Thursday afternoon, I was finally able to attend a diabetes information clinic. Although initially I dreaded this appointment, I found it to be very enlightening. Now I know how to use a glucometer to test my blood sugar levels, understand some of the weird stuff my body has been doing for the last couple of years, have a good idea of what comprises a sensible meal for me in my current condition, and am prepared for the event of an onset of hypoglycemia. Definitely a good use of my time (three hours with a short break).

What I did not expect was to be amused by the verbal hijinks of my fellow diabetics. Our lovely, patient instructor Irma Fernandez was presented with quite the motley crew. It was definitely a multicultural lot: a Filipina medical educator, one Tongan, one Hawaiian, one Hindustani, one Southern mutt (can you guess who that was?), an older African American gentleman, his prim and proper but extremely sexy middle-aged "Desperate Housewives" WASPy wife, an Irish American woman with a sharp redheaded tongue, a whiny blonde morbidly obese Jewish woman who resembled the Quaker Oats guy, a taciturn bald and bearded Eastern European wrestler dude, a crimson-skinned (I'm not kidding; although "Caucasian," he was the closest to a "redskin" I've ever seen in my life) type-A personality winemaker and his long-suffering spouse, and a deaf Frenchman. We seemed like the cast of an entry in the Sundance Festival. While half the group sat quietly and drank in the information provided by Ms. Fernandez, there were several notable speakers:

1. The Hindustani fellow to my left seemed to delight in finding slight errors in Ms. Fernandez' presentation and raking her over the coals. Fortunately, she recovered quickly from his verbal ripostes.

2. Mrs. Quaker Oats, a.k.a., Whiny Pants, kept telling us her life story and explaining why she is doomed to failure and thus should never try anything the medical profession recommends for her. She seemed to encourage the outbursts of

3. Paranoid Irish grandma, who freaked out routinely over her misinterpretations of the various things we learned. For example, she was dismayed to hear that organic, unmixed peanut butter was preferable to Skippy: "But there's all that oil on the top, and oil means lots of fat, and fat ain't good for ya!" At which point she was corrected about the chemistry of oil by

4. Bespectacled Southern teacher man, who had to give a few other miscreants lectures as well. I reckon I was the teacher's pet for the day, as she always looked relieved when I came to her defense.

5. Let's not forget the "deaf" French guy, who could hear everyone else just fine but claimed he needed Ms. Fernandez to come closer to repeat everything she said. Personally, I think he just wanted to cop a feel.

6. The best indie film actor of us all was Karen, the Hawaiian lady. She seemed determined to reveal every dietary indiscretion, every departure she made from the recommended eating plan, as if our class was her confessional. The funniest bit was when she told us that she had gotten into the habit of not eating the baked potato that came with her routine breakfast of steak and eggs. When Ms. Fernandez expressed her concern that Karen was skimping too much on carbs at breakfast, she retorted, "But I didn't tell you about the muf-fin!" (emphasis on the final syllable) Vanessa and I have added this to our list of pet phrases.

With luck, none of my LJ readers will rip off my tale and make millions before I get around to filming my indie picture...

Finley stands up for women and takes on Grand Theft Auto IV

Sun, 11 May 2008 17:35:08 GMT

Read the article and all the comments. Mine are at the end. For some reason, the submission engine wasn't working properly, whence the duplication of my comment at the bottom of the page.

http://multiplayerblog.mtv.com/2008/05/09/a-womans-take-on-the-very-worst-of-grand-theft-auto-iv/#comment-29694

Feelings, truthiness, dharma, karma, eremitic solitude, spice,strange wine, cool water, Thermopylae

Fri, 02 May 2008 00:03:22 GMT

I seem to be one of the few people in this venue who recognize that the quality of our feelings is not necessarily the most important aspect of our lives. I would rather feel terrible about the wretchedness of human nature or resign myself to a life of habitual failure than sedate myself with a comfortable fiction. However, I consider this a false dichotomy; these are not our only options. I believe that the truth can set us free--that is, after we allow or force our fragile hearts to undergo the eviscerating pain of suffering. I know the truths about myself: that no matter how hard I try to reconcile myself to the mores of society, the vastly different perspective of a friend or lover, and the ways of this all-too-human world, I always will manage to be at odds with institutions, groupthink, and herd morality; that no matter how much time I take to frame my thoughts and ornament my utterances, no matter how many deep breaths I take to calm my nerves and establish a tone of equilibrium, that all but a very few will misunderstand my message; that I am a bundle of perverted perceptions, an awkward Aspergian autistic astronaught (decidedly not a yes man) who is asphyxiated by the thin air of ironic frivolity and suffocated by the heavy atmosphere of formality and conformity; that I ultimately will fail, as all we mortals do, and will give up the ghost back to the wardrobe shop from whence I borrowed it; that my own feelings are too much for others, that my joy and my rage alike terrify them, that my insecurity and resolve alike alienate them, and that I pose more of a threat to self-satisfaction than a promise of contentment; that, hard as the road I travel and treacherous the perils might be, I am nurtured by the earth beneath my feet and uplifted by the indefinite spaces that beckon to be explored; that I will fall down repeatedly, seemingly defeated by the powers and principalities of this world, only to rise the next day, hale and hearty, ready to assay another ride beside my lord and master Don Quixote. While I am riddled with flaws, betrayal, and sins of all kinds, I can hold my head high, proud to be the son of my mothers and fathers, still a member of the Free Companions, still a dreamer, an idealist, and a student of Tao. And the biggest of idiots and the most wayward of fools, I suppose...

Surprising Fact: Guinness is the true "light beer"!?!

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 23:23:39 GMT

According to a caloric analysis by FDA nutritionists:

"Beer
Drink This:
Guinness Draught
125 calories
10 g carbohydrates

Not That!
Sierra Nevada Pale Ale
175 calories
15 g carbohydrates

Save 50 calories a beer!

Surprised? Most people think of Guinness as a beer milkshake: dark, thick, and rich enough to inspire guilt at first sip. But switch out a six-pack a week and you've just saved yourself more than four pounds this year. Extend those savings even further with Beck's Premier Light: At 64 calories a bottle, it doesn't get any lighter than this."

I got this from a Yahoo! Health story about healthier snack and beverage choices for people who wish to lose weight and belly fat. Guinness is relatively low on the glycemic index, apparently. :) In Ireland, living beyond "The Pale" always has been a good thing!

Change will do us good

Sun, 13 Apr 2008 23:03:51 GMT

I can't believe I'm paraphrasing a second-rate Sheryl Crow song from 1997, but there ya go. Sometimes the eloquence circuits are a bit rusty and you've got to be happy with whatever random syllables you get.

At any rate, I probably expended said circuits writing the best resignation letter I've ever done. I began by complimenting the head teacher (our coop's closest equivalent to principal, although the role is really more mediator/facilitator/coordinator--wonder what the xp penalty is for this multiclass?) for his most recent email, then offered some important information about tomorrow's meeting. Having created a comfortable environment for attending to serious concerns, I then politely but firmly let him knew that I would not be returning to teach next year. Here are the three primary reasons to which my terrible journal entry title alludes:

"You're aware of some of the factors that have affected this decision, but there are three major new ones (one negative, two positive) that came up over the break.

1. Negative: Despite my efforts to get my health and diet under control this year, I have been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and have begun taking medication. The sedentary teacher lifestyle and the long hours of full time commitment to Maybeck will impair my chances of turning this around.

2. Positive: On Friday night, Vanessa and I decided to get married on July 19. There's a lot to do toward this end; marriage definitely will change my insurance and tax status. I have to put her first above all other priorities.

3. Positive: I have been getting so much freelance work (yep, the "break" has been not so much a vacation as a chance for me to do more lucrative work) this semester and increasing demands on my time for paid artistic pursuits that I think a career change is in order. As much as I take pride in contributing to the noble mission of Maybeck and manning the helm of an engaged classroom, I am much more suited to working with people on an individual basis and in small groups. Wisdom dictates that I respect my strengths and weaknesses rather than continue reclining on the Procrustean bed and trying to be other than who I am."

I concluded decisively but sweetly and so it goes. Or went, I guess. We'll have to see.

I've been driving my girlfriend crazy with just about every emotion under the sun. Hopefully she's doing ok, but I suspect she's hiding in the Fortress of Solitude in order to get a few oxygen-rich breaths before my next burst of hot nitrous or sulphurous air. I'll try to leave her alone for the rest of the afternoon at least so that she can have a bit less stress.

All the signs, portents, omens, auguries,avian visitations, and Biblical prophecies indicate a favorable path for my tender, sweaty feet. Good luck to everyone else out there who is undergoing his or her own transformations and metamorphoses.

P.S. I am very excited to be married soon to this wonderful woman I think of as Home. :)

Why I love the Internet: Time Travel

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 21:24:49 GMT

A magical performance by the Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band from 1969. YouTube, you rule!

Now that I understand peripsol93's joke from my birthday...

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 01:45:17 GMT

Matt, now I know what you mean by "Rick rolled." Now I realize why my students keep singing that horrible Rick GhAsstley "Never Gonna Give U Up" piece of dance pop shit from the late '80s. Truly one of the few songs from high school that I loathe more than Tone Joke/Loco/Def's "Funky Cold Medina" and "wild Thing."

So here are my vastly improved lyrics for this stewpit sang:

Never gonna pick u up, never gonna put u down
Never gonna write preposition'l phrases that are useful
Never gonna build u up, never gonna tear u down
Never gonna utter a string of words worth saying

Never gonna go to town, never gonna walk with crown
In my hand or inside buildings
Never gonna speak within, never gonna shave with gin
Never gonna never gonna never gonna

Finley stands up for Jesus, bashes in the skull of false prophet

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 00:46:21 GMT

Fresh from my victory over the guy who doesn't know Edinburgh from his elbow, I next did battle with the latest idiot claiming to know God's plan for mankind. This bozo, Ronald Weinland - Author of “The Prophesied End-Time” & “2008 - God’s Final Witness”, claims to be the MC for the two witnesses from God that John the Revelator prophesied would reveal and defy the Antichrist. I have encountered apocalyptic bullshit nearly all my life, but this stinks the worst, methinks. I decided to ruin the SOB's trip to Israel with a nasty message.

Feel free to spam this guy until his inbox implodes and his spleen ruptures!!!

Here's my salvo in the War on Religious Terror.

Date: Sun, 6 Apr 2008 17:23:16 -0700 (PDT)

To: email@the-end.com

Subject: You are a liar, a servant of the Devil, and the worst of sinners

Message: Oh syphilitic, heretical catamite of the Antichrist,
heed my words and repent while you can.

I am not worthy to consider tying the sandals of any
of the spiritual masters whom you malign with your
arrogant prattle and pathetic claims, but I know that
you are an impostor and a damned liar!

How dare you open your filthy mouth and spoil the
Gospel of Jesus Christ with your Satanic lies!
How dare you compare yourself to the prophets of
Yahweh!
How dare you claim to be the John the Baptist to the
two witnesses of Revelation!
How dare you claim to know the mind of God, when even
Jesus Christ humbly admitted that he did not know the
hour of the Apocalypse!
How dare you claim to correct the Jewish people, whom
Yahweh has marked with his favor throughout history
despite their trials and tribulations!
How dare you claim to be a minister of God!
How dare you stand with your head held in Luciferian
pride when you should be on your knees in sackcloth
and ashes, begging for forgiveness from the Three whom
you slander with your blasphemous utterances!
How dare you spread fear and insanity in the name of
God, who is not the author of confusion but the source
of Love!
How dare you spit upon human suffering, you sadistic
bastard of demons!
Your books have dishonored the faith and everyone
associated with it and you are nothing more than a
paranoid schizophrenic drunk with diabolical
delusions! See--you have made me so furious I wrote a
run-on sentence!!!!!!!!!!

May God have mercy upon your sorry soul!

Dagdaffyd Llawfhionn
Scion of MacBeth mac Finlaech, child of the Cherokee,
young lion of Clan Chattan, faithful servant de
Nuestro Senor Don Quijote, proud bearer of the White
Crane's standard, unworthy to imitate Jesus the Christ
but willing to fight to the death for his honor.

Weird news for this week

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 06:57:37 GMT

Tanzanian witchdoctors cannibalize albinos for spell ingredients:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080403/od_nm/witchcraft_dc;_ylt=As3Fl.JlCPpklokiyUsIf0as0NUE

Here's one for V--Diaper-clad monkey escapes Fla. home
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080404/ap_on_fe_st/odd_loose_monkey;_ylt=AmTdGqcTZbdFfrXkw6H4WTUZ.3QA

Diamond thong shown to the throng
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080403/od_nm/thong_dc;_ylt=AsCvTOI2c56u4mCxfMn.F74Z.3QA

Herpetokleptomaniac moman shoplifts reptile, shoving snake down her pants:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080404/ap_on_fe_st/odd_boa_constrictor_theft;_ylt=AooHQ2vfMuf6M23Dg3_HpdQZ.3QA

A tiger devoured a mentally ill man who entered the animal's zoo cage in northeast China:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080404/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_china_tiger;_ylt=AtI0UjhHfYiVE4_0zYehkY0Z.3QA

Iron deficiency or money-making opportunity? Man accused of stealing pizza pans:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080404/ap_on_fe_st/odd_pizza_pan_theft;_ylt=AliyHyuaNNGEAEtfAwGFOIYZ.3QA

And the final kicker is so good I had to paste the whole thing here:

BELGRADE (Reuters) - A Serb farmer used a grinding machine to cut in half his farm tools and machines to comply with a court ruling that he must share all his property with his ex-wife, local media reported on Thursday.

Branko Zivkov, 76, told Belgrade daily Kurir he had been ready to give his wife Vukadinka her equal share of everything earned during their 45-year marriage, but was furious at being asked to give away half his farming equipment.

Instead, he bought a grinder and cut in two all his tools, including large items such as cattle scales, a harrow and a sowing machine.

"I still haven't decided how to split the cow," he told the newspaper. "She should just say what she wants -- the part with the horns or the part with the tail."

More evidence that sexy time makes men dumb

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 06:47:03 GMT

A recent study suggest that the same area of the typical heterosexual male brain deals with desire for sex and financial gain. Apparently seeing pictures of pretty women makes men make risky financial decisions. Tell me something I didn't know!!!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080405/ap_on_sc/finance_and_sex;_ylt=AmpBXsjYw8PLd1D9DeKyjwCs0NUE

See David Bitch-Slap Defamer o' the Gaels

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 17:18:10 GMT

I get tired of the ignore-ance of blowhards who think they are experts. So often, these self-appointed critics and pundits reveal the shortcomings of their education, reading habits, and critical thinking faculties.

Here is a review of a book on Edinburgh where "Underwear H. Crown" (OK, he spells his last name with a silent i and I reversed the order of his names, but the translation is accurate) displays complete stupidity about the relationship between Scotland's official capital and Gaelic culture. Below it, you will see my rebuttal and verbal ass-kicking of this contemptuous lout.

http://www.amazon.com/review/RGBJJTHBBLPLR/ref=cm_cr_rev_detmd_pl?%5Fencoding=UTF8&cdMsgNo=1&cdPage=1&cdSort=oldest&cdMsgID=Mx3GPYHJI0LX7VK#Mx3GPYHJI0LX7VK

It's 3 AM after your birthday--who do you want planning it?

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 10:59:38 GMT

I'm still buzzing from the most wonderful birthday party ever. Vanessa organized, cleaned, mixed, arranged, decorated, planned, contacted people, bought supplies, and decorated. Our friends Sybyl and Henry arrived early and helped us clean and greenify the living room. Penny, her mom, lent us a cooler and a table, as well as bringing more drinks and food. I was touched by the turnout; nearly everyone who was invited came (we missed you, Nick and Renee!). Gwynne made me a gorgeously green, scrumptious carrot cake--mmm, hmmm! She also sang me an exquisite song, "The Bonny Boy." I look forward to giving her the recording (I recorded all the music we played on my MacBook Pro).

In addition to the aforementioned, there were the following guests: Rich, V's dad; our friends from American Canyon, Aimee and Chris; a family I tutored for 6 years in SF, Zach, John, and Kay; an SF musician with whom I've played for 5 years, John Wilson; Monica, the bride-to-be of one of my best friends, Matt, from St. John's and another musician; and two other Johnnie musicians, Mitch (Santa Cruz) and John (Berkeley).

At several points, I found myself in such a state of joy that I wondered if I were dreaming...

I love mein fraulein so very much and hope her headache is gone when she wakes up in the morning. :)

Two Unspeakably Weird Videos

Tue, 26 Feb 2008 07:54:50 GMT

The first one is a poodle parody of Susan "Stop the Insanity" Powter; my Irish pal, Brian Edwards, sent it to me. The second one was linked to the first by YouTube. You've gotta watch for yourself to believe. Oh, yes, you will believe and you WILL be scared, very scared...

I love Herzog, but this is hilarious

Sun, 24 Feb 2008 09:30:16 GMT

Here's a parody of one of my favorite films of all time.

Hard Time Killing Floor Blues

Sun, 24 Feb 2008 07:41:10 GMT

People talk about Bonnie Raitt, Susan Tedeschi, and Rory Block, but Cindy Cashdollar is the real deal. Here she is in an awesome duet with another great slide guitarist, Louisiana's Sonny Landreth, playing one of the classic Delta blues by the master, Skip James.

Forgotten Civil Rights heroine passes away

Sat, 23 Feb 2008 23:59:49 GMT

Although she walked right beside Ms. Parks and Dr. King, Johnnie Carr is nowhere as widely known as those two seminal figures. Carr was every bit as important in her own right and deserves a few minutes of silence today in her memory.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080223/ap_on_re_us/obit_carr;_ylt=Ah3LHmpCeO0GJloEnWKW.u3Za7gF

More evidence of the goddess Libra's existence

Sat, 23 Feb 2008 23:15:27 GMT

Yesterday, I had two really wonderful things happen to me that balanced out the annoyances of various co-workers.

1. One of my students and his dad bought me a book that they thought I would like: http://www.amazon.com/Artist-Mathematician-Amir-D-Aczel/dp/1568583591/ref=pd_bbs_sr_5?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1203806721&sr=8-5

As it turns out, Amir Aczel's THE ARTIST AND THE MATHEMATICIAN was on my want list! This was definitely like an early birthday present. Most well-known for his study of the 1993 proof of Fermat's Last Theorem (the most famous problem in mathematics, trust me), Aczel is the author of several fascinating and popular books on mathematics, computing, and science. This book chronicles the influential work of the most famous mathematician who never existed: Nicholas Bourbaki was the name of a secret society of mostly French mathematicians who convened shortly before WWII. They emphasized rigor, redefined mathematical proof, and were responsible for the "New Math" that dominated American classrooms in the Sixties and Seventies. I'm only in chapter 2, but it is already a riveting, informative read. It makes a nice companion piece to the Siobhan Roberts biography of Anglo-Canadian geometer H.M.S. Coxeter that I read last year, KING OF INFINITE SPACE. Coxeter and Bourbaki were diametrically opposed; conflict is where all the fun's at! My favorite quote from Bourbaki is Jean DieuDonne's pronouncement at a 1959 math convention, "Death to all triangles!" While I completely disagree with the sentiment and prefer Coxeter's visual approach to math to Bourbaki's abstraction fetish, I find the idea of a drunken French math nerd screaming "La mort aux toutes les triangles!" in front of hundreds of his peers absolutely high-larryous.

With a definite interest in Kabbalah, Aczel wrote another book exploring the religious and philosophical inspirations, underpinnings, and implications of Georg Cantor's invention/discovery of transfinite numbers (non-math people, this was probably the single greatest mathematical accomplishment of the late nineteenth century), THE MYSTERY OF THE ALEPH: Mathematics, the Kabbalah, and the Human Mind. http://www.amazon.com/Mystery-Aleph-Mathematics-Kabbalah-Human/dp/156858105X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1203807772&sr=1-1

2. The second nice thing occurred just as I was entering the mouth of Erebus, I mean, the entrance to downtown Berkeley BART. Al lovely young woman smiled at me, engaged me in a brief but delightful conversation, and said to me rather candidly, "Today is a beautiful day, I'm glad to be speaking to you, and you are a very good person!" Immediately after this pronouncement, she did a little circle dance, turned around, and trotted up the other set of stairs. Apparently she had only walked down the first flight to share that message with me.

With my day bookended by such pleasant experiences, I had to allow for the possibility that there are spiritual forces at work in the local cosmos to keep me from despairing at the heart of darkness at the core of human society. Of course, it also helps to have a wonderful girlfriend who accepts me into her home despite my bloodthirst toward some of my colleagues, tendency to overreact to minor grievances, extreme testosterone affliction, ridiculous pride, ability to be insulted profoundly by people I've never met, and depraved polymorphous perversity (Man of 1001 Fetishes, ya know). I loves and appreciates you grately, Vanessa. Don't forget your Lact-Aid!!!

P.S. Good news that has befallen people more deserving than me:
Too often bad things happen to good people, but sometimes the innocent victim defeats the evil insurance company. A woman whose insurance company canceled her policy when she was undergoing treatment for breast cancer has been awarded $9 million. Health Net had an incentive program in 2002-3 to encourage health plan administrators to cancel coverage for as many patients as possible. Patsy Bates was only one of 1600 people in Los Angeles alone who suffered as a result of this vile practice. The judge put it beautifully: "It's hard to imagine a policy more reprehensible than tying bonuses to encourage the recision of health insurance that helps keep the public well and alive," (arbitration judge Sam) Cianchetti wrote in the Bates decision. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080223/ap_on_he_me/health_net_damages

Dullards to the left of me, morons to the right--here I am: stuck in the middle with fools

Sat, 23 Feb 2008 21:40:44 GMT

All kidding aside, I am appalled at the ignorance revealed continually by the statements of the rich and influential. My only lament about Obama is that he is a lawyer, not a teacher. It's about time that an educator took an active role in the government of this country. Obviously I'm biased. The lack of historical knowledge and philosophical rigor amongst our politicians is simply embarrassing. Now that I think about it, the problem with a teacher as president is that members of my profession tend to have a smarmy, self-righteous, "know-it-all", condescending tone. (Then again, so do IT professionals, music snobs, Bible scholars, male gigolos, career military, Scientologists, and software engineers. Oops; three strikes means I'm out.) We'd probably alienate 90% of the voters and incite a trend of scholasticide. Oh well...

One of my favorite shows is REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER, a relatively rare venue for open political discourse in our media. It is a great delight to hear BM (pun intentional) clear out America's polluted digestive tract with his hilarious jokes, on-the-spot philosophizing, and witty ripostes. While I do not agree with everything Maher says (I think he is an ignoramus when it comes to religion), I find it highly fitting that a comedian is an artful moderator of debate and idea exchange.

That being said, Bill had some particularly dumb people on his show last night. Tom Brokaw was nearly as funny as Bill and generally insightful, but he said something incredibly facile in response to one of Maher's queries. Basically, Bill was wondering if the Sixties idealism inevitably led to the cynicism of the '80s. Brokaw replied, "In 1968, many people on the Left wanted Eugene McCarthy to be president. When things didn't go their way, they abandoned American politics and gave up on the system." Neither Maher nor he made any mention of all the forces of repression that were actively striving to destroy anyone who challenged the shortcomings of that system. Although he kept up his struggles on America's behalf until the bitter end of his suicide in 1976, folksinger and activist Phil Ochs often spoke of having "died in Chicago" at the 1968 Democratic National Convention. It's very hard to believe in a system when you see your friends tear-gassed and beaten to death by cops under orders from an American mayor simply for exercising the rights guaranteed by the First Amendment. Let's not even mention the WWII Japanese internment camps Reagan was planning on re-opening to deal with California dissidents or the attacks on students at college campuses like UC-Berkeley in the '60s and Penn State in 1970. Oh yeah, and that illegal war we were waging on the indigenous peoples of Southeast Asia--let's not even bring that up at all! Or our President spying on his citizens. (Wait a minute? Isn't Bush doing that, too?) With the formation of groups like the Weathermen and the Black Panthers, it is clear that many young people at the time felt they had to arm themselves for another American revolution.

Bill had two arch-conservative guests last night, each of whom said something so idiotic that I simply lost my temper and hurled invective against my girlfriend's widescreen TV. (It's much nicer when he has a "conservative with a brain" guest like P. J. O'Rourke, who is smart, funny, and quite charming. My former employer, world's leading astronomy writer Timothy Ferris, introduced me to P.J. many years ago. Although with my unruly mane and beard I must have looked like a total ruffian compared to his dapper presentation, the impeccably attired Mr. O'Rourke shook my hand warmly and talked to me with absolutely no trace of condescension.) Formerly Robin to Bush's Batman, David Krum had the audacity to claim that JFK "failed" the two potential nuclear war tests (East Berlin and Cuba) with which he was challenged by Khrushchev. The absurdity of this remark should be patently obvious: we are still alive, so he must have succeeded! He couldn't help spilling a little more of the stew-pid beans: "We would have never gotten into such a situation with Eisenhower as President." What books on the Cuban Missile Crisis have you read, Mr. Dumm Krum? Do you not realize that Kennedy was simply reaping what previous administrations had sown? Many people don't realize that Kennedy found out about and put the kibosh on a plan by the US military to fake a terrorist attack on Americans by Cubans to get public support to start a war with Castro. If you don't believe me, Google it or start here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Northwoods http://www.gwu.edu/~nsarchiv/news/20010430/index.html (Those of you who don't trust Wikipedia will note that the second link is to the official US National Security Archive.)

The other would-be pundit, Georgia Congressman Jack Kingston, questioned the intelligence of Michelle Obama for saying "for the first time in my life, I'm really proud of my country." Kingston recited the usual jingo gruel about how America is a gleaming pearl in a sea of shit and how dare that uppity black woman say otherwise. Mr. Kingston, have you ever heard of any of the following vocabulary words and colorful public figures? Salem Witch Trials, extermination of Native Americans, slavery, Manifest Destiny, the Trail of Tears, Know-Nothings, Texas, Mexican-American War, the Civil War, Jim Crow, George Armstrong Custer, Wounded Knee, the KKK, female suffrage, Spanish-American War, Filipino genocide (condemned by Mark Twain and others), Chinatown USA, lynching, Warren G. Harding, Calvin Coolidge, the Ludlow Massacre, the Depression, segregation, the Scopes Monkey Trial, Henry Ford's financial assistance to the Nazis, the Holocaust, Japanese internment, Dixiecrats, Yalta, Joseph McCarthy, street gangs, book desecration and record-burning, Operation Northwoods, Vietnam War, US endorsement of Baby Doc, Pinochet, and Peron, Watergate, training and arming Osama Bin Laden, failure to pass the ERA, Reaganomics, the War on Drugs, Iran-Contra, Jerry Falwell, Jimmy Swaggart, Jim Bakker, and Pat Robertson, "New World Order," Dan Quayle, "Don't Ask, don't tell," hate crimes, NAFTA, the impeachment of Bill Clinton for his personal life, George W. Bush, courting the Taliban, the War on Terror, Guantanamo Bay, the Patriot Act, the Iraq War, Abu Ghraib, etc. Although America is a much better place to live than, say, Darfur, the Balkans, most of the Middle East, or North Korea, our colonial, state, and federal governments have done much over the past three centuries to make us ashamed.

I echo Michelle Obama's sentiments. I am proud that a significant portion of the citizenry has begun to awaken from its dogmatic slumber and that Americans are starting to care again about what happens in the world. For all its faults, "love me, I'm a liberal" competitions, and political correctness, I am proud to live in the San Francisco Bay Area, a place where diversity is at least verbally encouraged and fundamental American principles are still alive and well. I hope and pray that November will herald the most exciting political event of our time, that I will raise a foaming glass and a hearty toast to the first African-American President of the United States. I wish Malcolm X and Dr. King and Rosa Parks and Coretta Scott King and W. E. DuBois and Gandhi and Henry David Thoreau and G. K. Chesterton and Emma Goldman and Victor Jara and Mother Jones and Joe Hill and Dietrich Bonhoeffer and Woody Guthrie and Benjamin Franklin and all those other unconquerable, nonviolent bravehearts who struggled, sang, spoke, sweated, and scribbled for the freedom of Terrans everywhere were here to see this happen, God(dess) bless their souls. Forgive me for smearing my bloody, naive, idealistic, ridiculously soft heart all over your computer screen, but real men actually do cry when they are overcome by the impossible hope that (to quote St. Paul, Romans 8:28) "all things conspire unto the good," when they see the possibility of being (to quote C.S. Lewis, eponymous autobiography) "Surprised by Joy."

"Why'd he have to ruin such a nice post with quotes from Christians?" Hey, at least you were surprised to see where my entry went vis-a-vis its somewhat arrogant title. ;) As my girlfriend is very much aware, you never know where you're going to end up once my big mouth opens.

Whiny Actresses, Defeminization, Jane Fonda's cunt, and Ugly Models

Fri, 22 Feb 2008 03:38:10 GMT

Some of you might have heard about Carrie Fisher's autobiographical show, WISHFUL DRINKING, which she is performing currently at the Berkeley Rep. After watching the trailer and reading a few reviews, I have confirmed my initial guess as to the content and purpose of this little exercise en rechercher a les temps perdu: a big ol' gossipfest where Fisher roasts celebrities who make more money than she does, blames all her problems on her parents and Hollywood, and reveals the warts on the various male members she allowed to enter her holy of holies. Apparently, she is still scarred from George Lucas' decision to have her wear a hairdo based on that of Mayan prospective brides. Oh, the horror of wearing her glorious, shiny, Tresemme-worthy, pre-Raphaelite chestnut tresses in those sexy buns! Does she not realize how many boys and men (and let's be honest, pervy grrls, too) were marked for life with a fetish for that look? How many nights did I lie in my little pre-pubescent or teenage bed longing to caress Carrie's buns and cheeks (both pairs, respectively), to rub my face into her soft smooth pillows of gorgeous hair? Princess Leia was a powerful woman as well as the sexiest of babes; she led the Rebel Alliance with panache and stood her ground before Tarkin and Vader. That glorious low-pitched voice, those fiery eyes, those eloquent nostrils, that tremendous intelligence and talent for the Force--how can Fisher disparage all her character's charms? Since she's written four novels before this and can't seem to get over the past, I think one could safely say that Fisher has not achieved her goal of "gaining control over my life."

I wish I could find the photo from the newspaper article I was reading today; it showed the real Carrie Fisher, dressed in she-drag Charlie Chaplin with a hideous blonde dye job, dwarfed by the infinitely more feminine lifesize Princess Leia doll. The doll entices with her obvious charms but conceals just enough to allure with mystery. Fisher's get-up smothers her femaleness in layers of male garments and makes her look dowdy and absolutely unappealing. I'll try to give you a sense of the contrast from two separate photos, one of the statue and one of Fisher in the stage show:

Why is it that women in our culture must give up beauty and sex appeal in order to achieve power? Is it some sort of twisted Manichaean alchemy, some Gnostic process where, as Jesus says in THE GOSPEL OF THOMAS, "A woman must first become a man before she enters the kingdom of heaven"? Look at all our political women and the wives of our patriarchs; gaze upon our female business leaders. They all wear male-derived power suits and unflattering haircuts. The only attractive women in this political race are the wives of Kucinich and Obama. How curious. Even Princess Di, probably the most beautiful female leader of the past thirty years, was really just a pretty boy, so androgynous and unfeminine was her presentation. Now before you accuse me of sexism and objectification, you should know that I have a very wide definition of feminity. I think Tank Girl is feminine, I consider Tgirls feminine, I love Amazons and Goths and punkers and indie girls and tomboys and hippie chicks and just about anyone who has curves and swishiness. Why do women have to choose between being dollgirl pretty and being preserved in formaldehyde a la Hillary Clinton or Barbara Bush? Why must menopausal women cut their hair like middle-aged men? Why do "Golden Girls" have to get the blue dye job and poodle-do (I decidedly call it a don't)? Why do you think JF "I like to fuck" K and Billy Bob "Cigar Boi" Clinton messed around so much? "Cause their wives looked too much like them!

Sounds like time for today's quote from the Book of Zappa. Let us turn to 1984's "musical" THING-FISH:

Thing-Fish:

Ain't you de clever one! Tell us, HARRY-AS-A-BOY, howdja recide upon dis heah life-style bein' DE ONE FO YOU?

Harry-As-A-Boy:

It was pretty simple, really. I lost all desire for intercourse with females when they started carrying those briefcases and wearing suits 'n ties.

Rhonda:

WHAT?

Harry-As-A-Boy:

Let's face it: that would be like fucking a slightly more voluptuous version of somebody's father! 'N I'm far too sensitive for such a traumatic experience!

Back to Finn: Now I actually think Jane Fonda keeps getting better looking as she gets older. That's probably due to all the aerobics and those hot spandex outfits she's been indulging in for the past few decades! It was so refreshing to hear her use a nice Anglo-Saxon word on TV--but, of course, Americans just can't handle the straight talk about the most tasty and fragrant of genitals! I'm glad Jane is helping Eve with her VAGINA MONOLOGUES, although I do wish Ms. Ensler would go get a haircut. She looks way better with a bob than with a soccer mom shag...

Finally, the turn that will confuse and perplex everyone (anyone? perhaps I'm being far too optimistic that anyone will actually read this) who has made it this far: thumbs up to the "ugly models" trend! At last, designers are featuring real people with flaws and personalities. Maybe one day we will be able to take off our clothes when we dance...

In case you feel guilty for choosing Obama over Clinton

Fri, 22 Feb 2008 02:09:57 GMT

Check out the link below. It includes a detailed comparison of the legislation records of Obama and Clinton. While there are some strong similarities, it is rather clear that Obama has taken more risks and passed more legislation than his opponent. I am curious, however, as to why he is not using this well-documented series of successes in his campaign arguments.

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/2/20/201332/807/36/458633

Worshipping felons might kill you

Thu, 21 Feb 2008 00:53:53 GMT

Along with many of my school and tutoring students, my girlfriend is probably sick of hearing me complain about the cult of cruelty, so I'm going to unleash a rant on unsuspecting LJers.

I just don't get the celebration of violence and viciousness in the films of Scorsese (not to mention the SAW series), tv shows like The Sopranos, games like Grand Theft Auto, music like gangsta rap, and the perennial adolescent obsession with ninjas, thieves, and serial killers. While I suspect that it's probably a holdover from our reptilian ancestors, I do not understand why we have to indulge these vestigial tastes in the 21st century. We keep complaining about conspiracies, about wickedness in high places, about how bad the Man and the Institution are reaming us everyday, and yet we lap up all this specious spew. Well, I should point out that I do not, but that would seem perhaps a bit self-righteous, hmmm?

Today's big stupid: Mexican troubadours who wax lyrical about the glories of drug lords and then end up shot by their "patrons." Did they think they were going to impress the drug traffickers or provide themselves with some kind of artistic immunity? How dumb can people be? I know; Zappa conjectured that stupidity was more common in the universe than hydrogen, so I really should never be surprised by human heckledom. Still, not being a Social Darwinist, I actually give a shit--yes, even about dumb people.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080220/ts_nm/mexico_drugs_singer_dc